Forgive Me
by gawilliams
Summary: A future fic that deals with the aftermath of Pelant. Bones is back and Booth has killed Pelant. Now the real healing begins.


_I have a lot of mixed emotions regarding the season finale. I am upset that the producers are willing to go down such a path with the two main characters considering all the long delays and, in my mind at least, unwarranted roadblocks along the way for a couple of years. But at the same time I see a lot of growth despite the situation. Bones admitting she loves Booth fully for himself and not a situation. Bones wanting to be there when Christine is christened. The list goes on. I am reaching on this one, but I wanted to do something for when this nightmare is all over and Pelant is hopefully dead and buried. I hope you enjoy it. Gregg._

_Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, these characters or franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

Booth sat down heavily on the pew and looked up at the image of Christ on the Cross above the altar. Pelant was dead. Shot and killed by him. The former Army Ranger Sniper had placed a bullet right between that son-of-a-bitch's eyes. It was all legal. The evidence clearing Bones and proving Pelant's guilt had been found and submitted. To Booth's inner delight, and the horror of his soul at such a thought, Pelant had run from them and Booth had calmly pulled his gun and in a single, damn near impossible shot given the angles and movement, had put him down. Now Booth had to deal with the aftermath of having shot and killed another living person, and he was finding that for the first time in his life he had absolutely no remorse. No contrition for being the instrument of the ultimate sanction.

"Seeley?" Father Mitch asked as he sat down next to his long time friend. He had heard all about what had happened a few minutes before when Temperance had called and let him know. She had been worried that Booth hadn't come home yet and thought he may be here at the church.

"I couldn't do it, Mitch," Booth said with real anguish in his voice.

"Do what?" was Mitch's simple question. He knew from long experience that Seeley needed gentle proddings to get him to release the needed responses to what was troubling him.

"Go into the confessional," Booth said simply.

"And why's that?" Mitch asked, somewhat startled. Booth was one of the most faithful when it came to confession that Mitch had ever known.

"Because no matter what I would have said it would have been a lie," Booth responded. "I should be happy. Pelant's dead, Bones is back, our daughter is back, and Bones has told me several times now that it's me she loves, not just the fact that we have a baby together keeping us together."

"Why aren't you happy?" Mitch pressed further.

"Because I didn't feel anything but satisfaction that I shot and killed Pelant," Booth managed to get out, hating even the way it sounded in his mind, let alone out loud. "Everyone I've ever killed, even the ones who deserved it without a doubt, I felt remorse over having done so. I could go into confession and begin to heal my soul afterwards. But not this time. I killed him calmly and deliberately and don't feel any sort of remorse or contrition."

"Given all that's happened I can see why you would feel that way," Mitch conceded. "But what's really bothering you?"

Booth sighed. He knew that as perceptive as Mitch was he would pick up on the vibes he was giving out. "In a perverse sort of way I can begin to see how Jacob Broadsky felt," Booth shuddered. "If I can take a life and not feel anything but satisfaction, Mitch, I'm scared that I can become just like him. Bones and my family deserve the best from me, not the worst."

"Have you talked to Temperance about any of this?" Mitch questioned.

"No, but I'm going to have to soon," Booth replied. "I got an offer of promotion which means I won't be a field agent anymore if I take it."

"Are you going to?"

"I think so, assuming Bones agrees," Booth nodded. "I'm not sure I want to be in the field anymore feeling like this. I also know Bones is still having doubts about wanting to continue working cases like we have given all that's happened. Maybe this would be for the best."

"How do you feel about her having gone on the run?" Mitch asked, curious to see if that had been discussed yet.

"I really don't know," Booth replied honestly. "Max had a point. Pelant could manipulate the system which was the computers. There's no way we could have won with Bones already in prison. I needed to fight that battle knowing that Bones was safe, not in some cell somewhere. But I now have some clue as to how she felt when her parents left when she was fifteen. It hurts, Mitch, and I don't know how to get over it. I'm over forty years old for God's sake and never went through a fraction of what she dealt with when she was all alone as a teenager and I am having problems."

"Don't you think she's having problems, too?" Mitch probed cautiously. "She did the one thing she's always been terrified of other's doing to her, and that's leave. She left the one person she respects, admires and loves above all else, doing exactly what her parents did, and for the same kind of altruistic reasons, both for you and your daughter. It can't be all one sides, Seeley."

"But how do I talk to her when I'm so messed up inside and scared that I'm becoming the one thing that I despise?" Booth asked. "My Faith is what keeps me whole, and sane, Mitch. What does it say when my feelings and actions are preventing me from exercising my Faith? What good am I to my family if the very foundation of who I am is in doubt?"

"She doesn't doubt who you are," Mitch told him. "Or your Faith and it's importance."

Booth looked at him questioningly. "Huh?"

"She has always been uncomfortable with the idea of a christening and any other religious ceremony dealing with Christine," Mitch explained. "Yet when it came down to the really crucial time in your lives together, she supported and was there for you, giving you her personal blessing and approval of Christine being christened by the Bishop in the Cathedral. She may not believe, but she believes in you and was showing it even when she was preparing to leave. The significance of that act is beyond measure, Seeley, and shows a depth of Faith that is humbling. Faith in you."

"But what of my Faith?" Booth asked, bringing it around to him again.

"You're here talking with me in His house, aren't you?" Mitch asked. "That shows me, one who knows you as a good Catholic man with sound principles and personal ethics, that you haven't strayed from your Faith. Everyone has crisis points and moments of doubt. I worry about those who don't make that step inside the door to ask the important questions. Those are the ones whose souls are truly lost, and in need of the Lord's grace more than anyone."

"But I killed a man and don't feel any remorse, Mitch," Booth worried.

"You do," Mitch told him. "You may not recognize it now, and may not for some time, but the very fact that you are worried about it tells me that you have remorse. That is something totally separate from your views about the person whose life you ended. You simply haven't separated the two yet. When you do, and I know you will, you will be more than ready to enter the confessional. And I will listen to your confession ready to grant you absolution."

"How can you be so sure?" Booth asked, a little curious.

"Because when I see people in the world who are truly lost and have completely lost their moral compass, I compare them to what I see now before me and there's no comparison," Mitch replied. He pointed at Booth's hip where his belt badge was clipped. "Because that badge you wear stands for something and you have pride in wearing it. It speaks of who you are, and you have always incorporated your Faith within that, as well. That's how I can be sure, Seeley."

Booth looked at his watch and grimaced. "I better get home, Mitch," he told his friend.

Mitch stood, too. "Everything will be alright, Seeley," he said. "Just give it time, and listen to each other."

He watched as his friend walked out of the church. He wasn't worried about Seeley and Temperance. They would have a rough road ahead dealing with all the emotional fallout of it all, but he was confident in the end result.

Booth pulled up to there house in his issue SUV. He felt better having talked with Mitch and was now ready to talk with Bones. He had already forgiven her. He had done so from almost the beginning once he had taken the time to really think about what Max had said to him. But he needed Bones to understand that, and he wanted to ask her forgiveness for his own actions in it all. He walked up to the door and opened it, seeing Bones there in the living room sitting on the couch like an ordinary evening. The smile she gave him when he walked in warmed his heart and he made his way over to her, pulling her into a tight hug when she stood up to meet him.

"God I missed you so much!" Booth said as he held her close.

Bones held onto him tightly and barely kept herself from crying. She had been so nervous about what his reaction would be despite his having said over the phone that all was well. "I've missed you, too, Booth," she told him over and over. "Please forgive me," she said when she let him go a moment and pulled him down on the couch with her. She sat close, her thighs meeting his and her arm intertwined with his.

"I forgave you moments after you left and Max had a word with me," he told her, letting her see the truth in his eyes and tone of voice.

"But I left you and took our daughter," Bones tried to protest, even though she was warmed by the fact that he obviously had forgive her.

"But you gave me something that held it together for me, Bones," he told her. "You told me you loved me, and we were together for much more than the fact that we had a child together. I already knew that, but to actually hear it? It meant more to me than anything in the world, Bones."

"It was easy to say because it's true," she told him. "I may not express my feelings in words often, but it's most definitely true, Booth."

"I killed Pelant, Bones," he admitted.

"I know," she told him. "I knew you would and that he wouldn't allow himself to be taken alive."

"But I didn't feel bad about it, Bones," he told her. "I was actually glad he was dead and that I was the one to pull the trigger."

Bones immediately knew what the problem was. She took his hand in hers. She still felt that they needed to talk about her time away, but that could wait. This had the earmarks of a serious problem.

"Is that why you were at the Church?" she asked.

Booth nodded. "I had a good talk with Mitch," he told her. "But I'm going to have problems with this, Bones. My Faith is a large part of what makes me me. Now I'm questioning that and myself. I need you to understand if I get a little out of sorts."

"I will, and if you get too out of sorts I'll just let my Dad know and he can deal with you," she told him, adding a bit of humor as she recalled the time when Booth had arrested Max and fought him, with Max hitting Booth in the balls.

Booth grimaced and crossed his legs, clearly recalling the same incident. "I don't think that will be necessary," he assured her.

"Booth," Bones began. "I know we will have some issues to deal with after what's happened. I also know that we need to seriously consider some options professionally. Sam Cullen talked to me this afternoon and let me know about the promotion offer you received this morning. Maybe now is the time to consider both of us leaving the field and concentrating on being parents to our daughter."

"But what about you, Bones," he asked. "You love being in the field, and the work we do."

"Booth, I love being in the field because it means spending time with and working with you," she told him. "It was that from the beginning, even if I didn't acknowledge it. The field work means nothing to me other than a job if you're not a part of it. I have plenty to do at the lab without field work, I assure you, and it is very fulfilling. Our family is what's important now."

"I'd be in charge of the Homicide Division and the DC Field Office," Booth told her. "Assistant Deputy Director Booth. At least it sounds better than Assistant Deputy Director Hacker. That waste of skin is on his way to the Middle East for a tour of duty at an embassy."

"Andrew got transferred?" Bones asked.

Booth grimaced. "I hate it when you call him by his first name," he grumbled, but knew she did it to tease him a bit. "He got caught in a questionable circumstance and instead of being fired he gets to head up an Embassy task force in Afghanistan."

Her eyes widened. "That's a bit dangerous, isn't it?"

"Oh, yeah," Booth smiled. "Couldn't happen to a better guy."

"We will discuss your attitude towards Hacker later," she told him. "For now, I think you should call Cullen and let him know you will accept the promotion. I really think this is what is best for both of us. And Christine."

"Speaking of which, where is she?" Booth asked, a bit chastened at not having rushed to see his daughter right away.

"My Dad has her for the night," Bones told him. "I thought we needed some time together to talk, and to reconnect."

Booth caught the tone of her voice when she said reconnect. Bones was very adept at emphasizing words to mean very specific things, and that tone told him all he needed to know. It was going to be a fun night indeed, but a night that was important to them getting back on track. He pulled out his cell phone and made the call to Cullen. It was quick and to the point. Then he turned off the phone and stood up. He held out his hand.

Bones took his hand and stood, then was shocked when he picked her up and cradled her in his arms, as she wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned her head into the crook of his neck. She recalled once hearing that _**to forgive is divine**_. If this was divine, then she could wholeheartedly agree with the sentiment. Booth had forgiven her, and she had forgiven him anything that he felt he had done that needed forgiveness. Now they could work on healing each other.

_A/N: I hope that this was an enjoyable piece. It was one that occurred to me as I thought about possible endgames for the season opener next season and possible fallout from my supposition. I couldn't resist bringing in Father Mitch to help out. Gregg._


End file.
